A Million Ways to Die in Silicon Valley

(sung to the tune of A Million Ways to Die, by Seth MacFarlane & Joel McNeely)

Founders and pioneers
Come lend your eyes and ears
I’ve got the need to testify
You can try to strike it rich
But the Valley is a bitch
There’s a million ways to die

Got your new startup
Main stage, TechCrunch Disrupt
One day your valuation’s high
They’ll cut your funding off
If the NASDAQ’s slightly off
There’s a million ways to die

A million ways to die!

You’ve got the killer app
Users and all that crap
Lord knows you even monetize
But if Apple does it too
Well then, my friend, you’re screwed
There’s a million ways to die

Bitcoin and IOT
Virtual reality
Shucks man, this unicorn can fly!
You can tweet it to the sky
But Andreesen won’t reply
There’s a million ways to die

A million ways to die!

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